


A First Step

by Ruquas



Category: Leverage
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 21:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4075120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruquas/pseuds/Ruquas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan knows more about him than Hardison. But there are a few things that even Nathan doesn't know</p>
            </blockquote>





	A First Step

Nathan knows a lot about him, Eliot realized that. Nathan knows more about him than Hardison. But there are a few things that even Nathan doesn't know. Like how he had just wanted to become a soldier because his Grandpa had always told what he had seen in the Second World War. Not what was in the history books or has been shown in documentaries, but the everyday things and how they had helped people with simple things like a friendly 'Hello'. Or that he had tried to impress a girl in high school with judo.   
  
And there are a few things that Nathan doesn't want to know or, more likely, tires to ignore, things which are painfully obvious. Like that he wasn't good enough for the team, or for Nathan. Eliot knows that he isn't even worthy to share the same air as the older man. Nathan doesn't want to see that he isn't really worth the trouble. Maybe, if he was lucky, Nathan is going keep him if the older man found out. Lets him work with the team... If he was lucky  
  


 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Thoughtful, Nathan is watching the younger man. Even though Eliot is hurt more than usual, he had insisted that they eat a homemade dinner. And he overheard accept any protests. But Nathan knows that there is something different too. The last two months Eliot has been bruised most of the time. Eliot could hide most of them but his latest bruise, well, his latest bruise is on Eliot's right cheek and clearly visible for everyone. And Nathan doesn't know how he had gotten it. Eliot says it had happened at a lesbian bar.

 

“Lesbian bar my ass,” Nathan mutters gulpes the rest of his drink down.

 

Eliot looks up from cooking Hardison’s favorite pasta with balsamic and spinach sauce and a bit of lemon, and tenses slightly. “Did...did you say something, Nate?” Eliot asks nonchalantly but he's looking slightly uncomfortable.

 

Nathan smiles and stands up. “Yeah, that smells fantastic, Eliot.” It wasn’t a lie. After all, whatever Eliot is cooking, it always smells delicious.

 

Eliot smiles and looks shyly to the floor. ”Thanks,” he said like he never got a compliment. Then he turned back to the pots. “I hav... want to be at home by seven. That okay with you?”

 

Nathan frowned but nodded anyway. Eliot had wanted to say something different. That he had to be at home by seven. “Of course, it’s no problem. May I ask why?” he asked but didn't get an answer. Nathan couldn't say he was surprised.

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

It is stupid, Eliot knew it. He didn’t have to be at home by seven any more. There is no one to make sure that he was. But they are still there. The rules. And one of them is, that he has to be home by seven.  
  
 _Cursing, he opened the door. Half past seven. He had had to take the bus home because he wasn't allowed to drive his car or his bike more than necessary anymore. And even then it was a rare treat. But today the bus had had to be late. His luck._

 

“ _Ryan?” he asked quietly. Maybe Ryan wasn't home. Maybe he had to work._

 

“ _Where the hell have you been?” a cold voice asked._

 

_Eliot swallowed and tried to smile. “I'm sorry, the bus, you know?” he tried to explain but could see that he failed._

 

_Ryan smiled a cold smile. “The bus, hmm? Or did you just wanted to whore yourself out a last time today to that Nathan Ford?” Ryan asked and grabbed a handful of Eliot’s hair._

 

_He tried to shake his head but it hurt too much. “No, Ryan, I swear. I would...” he tried but was cut off by a punch in his stomach. At least Ryan let go his hair._

 

“ _Save it, you worthless piece of shit,” Ryan snarled and pulled him up again. Then he got a slap on the face before he was pushed into the kitchen. “You have 20 minutes to prepare dinner. Be on time. You don't want more lessons than you’ve already gotten, do you?”_

 

_Eliot shook his head and wiped away the blood on his lip. He didn't want another lesson. He’d already had to be taught so many of them. But he knew that he would soon deserve another one.  
_

 

_  
*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*_

 

 

_Crying, Eliot tried to scrub the blood out of the carpet. If it were still there when Ryan woke up, he would get another lesson and his back was still sore from his earlier lessons. And if Ryan got really mad he wouldn't let Eliot go to work. And if he couldn’t go to work, he would let the team down. And if he let the team down, he would disappoint Nathan._

 

“ _Dammit.” He swallowed. Ryan was up._

 

“ _Is there a reason why you're not finished cleaning?” Ryan asked and pulled him up._

 

_Eliot tried to shake his head but it hurt too much._

 

“ _And here I thought that I taught you some manners, Eliot.” Ryan sighed and stroked Eliot's head._

 

 _Eliot swallowed and tried to blink away the tears. He tried to be good, but he had failed. Again._  
  
Eliot woke up drenched in sweat. He hated these nightmares. They were of the past. Ryan wasn't here anymore. A day before he went to Belgrade, Ryan had left him. He knew that it was for the best, he had read it in books. But that didn't make it easier. Shaking, he got out of the bed and got dressed. 23pm. It wasn't that late. Maybe he could stay with Nathan for one night.

 

 

  
*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Tired, Nathan opens the door. 1am. Too late for visitors. _Any_ visitors

 

“Yes?” he sighs and looks up.

 

Within seconds, he's awake. Eliot's standing at his door, looking like a drowned rat. He's shaking but Nathan could tell that it isn't just from the cold. The younger man looks bad.

 

“Eliot?” he asks disbelieving. What the wants the younger man at this time of night?

 

Eliot looks up and tries to smile. “Can I come in? I... I wanted to talk with you.”

 

Against better judgment Nathan nods and goes to the bathroom to get a towel. Eliot smells like a bar. “What do you want to talk about?” Nathan asks gently and gives Eliot the towel.

 

The younger man takes it but doesn't make a move to dry himself. “Why are you keeping me?” Eliot asks and blushed. “I mean... on the team. Why are you keeping me?”   
  
Nathan raises his eyebrows. “You want to leave?” he asks alarmed. He couldn't find another explanation. It's going to hurt, but if the younger man wants to go then Nathan has to let him go.

 

But Eliot just shakes his head. “No, please... I didn't mean it like that. I meant... I don't do anything for it.” Eliot says and steppes closer to him. A little bit too close.

 

It's a strange move for the young man. Forced...seductive. Nathan swallows and begins to suspect something he doesn't likes at all. “Eliot, what do you want?” he asks.

 

Eliot's shoulders are slumping slightly. “I wanted to ask if I could crash here for the night,” Eliot whispers in a hushed voice, as if he was afraid Nathan would forbid it.

 

Nathan nods but notices the panicked look Eliot throws into his bedroom. “Yeah, okay. The couch is yours. I'm getting you a blanket.”

 

Eliot tries to smile. Nathan knows these looks. Those hurt looks that are always telling the same story of violence and pain. But so far he had seen those looks only on women. It hurt him to even think about an option where Eliot is or was one of the victims who're suffering from domestic violence.

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Confused, Eliot lays on the couch. He still doesn't know why Nathan keeps him in the team. He had been with a team, once. It hadn't been like this. There had been two other guys and a girl who had been barely eighteen. He just knew that she had already killed six men. Every one of them had been capable of killing, that hadn't been the problem. The problem had been that he had been the only one who hadn't been able to do anything else. It had been strange to be with a team but he had wanted to do it. Their leader, Pyotr, had said that Eliot could earn his staying with the team. It hadn’t been much, a blow-job every other day, sometimes a quick fuck.   
  
But Nathan never wanted anything like that. Eliot wouldn't mind – he really likes the older man. Nathan is nice and funny - when he was sober. Eliot is convinces that Nathan couldn't even hurt fly if it's not for the teams safety. But maybe this is going to be the problem. He likes Nathan more than he should. And that is stupid. He knows that Nathan would never see him like that.   
  
He sighs and sat up. 4am. Too late to get any sleep. Maybe he could work out? And he could make breakfast for Nathan. If Eliot couldn't thank Nathan with sex maybe Nathan would accept another way for him to say 'Thank you'.

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Nathan wakes up to the smell of coffee, bacon, eggs, and toast, and he tries desperately to classify these smells with his apartment. It takes him a few seconds before he could remember that Eliot had been sleeping on the couch and probably tries to say 'thank you' now. Well, at least it was is breakfast and nothing else. And then Nathan remembers his presumption he had because of the way Eliot had acted last night. But what really troubles him is the wave of jealousy he's feeling when he's thinking that Eliot had ever had a relationship with another man. He just doesn't likes it.   
  
He knows that he's feeling more for Eliot but, since yesterday he also knows that if he would ever ask Eliot for more, he would have to do it slowly. Maybe Eliot wants to go out sometime. A movie, maybe dinner. But right now, Nathan has to survive the morning.

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

“Smells good.”  
  
Surprised, Eliot is turning around. It's 9am. He just hopes that Nathan isn't awake because Eliot disturbed him. He just thought that he could do something nice. Hopefully, he hasn't ruined it.

 

“Thanks. I didn't wake you, did I?” he asks and is relieved when Nathan shakes his head. “I hope you like it,” he murmurs and waits for Nathan to take a bite.

 

Nathan swallows and nods. That's everything Eliot needs. Maybe it is even enough to thank Nathan for letting him crash on the couch.   
  
“Everything okay now?” Nathan asks suddenly.

 

Eliot nods. Probably he had disgraced himself yesterday evening completely. However, Nathan had never laughed at him or anything like that. He doesn't even do something like that now. A good sign.

 

“Yeah, everything is okay. You like everything?” he asks nervously. Nathan smiles at him and nods. Eliot really likes that smile.

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Nathan is watching him. Already all day long. Not every second, that would get the team's attention, especially Sophie's. But every other minute Nathan is looking over to him. It is a little creepy, as if he's being stalked. Parker is talking to her plant and Hardison was in the toilet. And then, when Sophie stands up to get herself something to eat, Eliot has to swallow because Nathan takes the opportunity to come over. After the older man was already watching him for hours him for hours, he doesn't really know what to expect. 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Nathan sighs with relief when Sophie gets up to get herself something to eat. Hardison is God knows where and Parker is talking to May, her plant. The girl really needs some help. Carefully, he stands up and went over to Eliot, trying to be as casual as he can be. Eliot looks up and smiles slightly before he shots another ball into the hole.

 

“Hey, Eliot.”

 

Eliot looks slightly confused. “Yes?”

 

Nathan smiles at Eliot and decides to go for it. “Would you like go out on Friday?”  
  
Eliot looks at him and just gapes.

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Eliot is shocked. He'd expected anything but that. After a few seconds he manages to close his mouth again. He must look like a fish!  
  
“Just... just the two of us?” he asks hesitantly. Just in case he's going to to interpret something in Nathan's offer that isn't there.

 

Nathan nods. “Yeah, I don't know. Maybe dinner and a movie.”

 

Eliot smiles. He knows that it is selfish but he just wants to know how it would be to be with Nathan, even if it is just once. “That would be great.”

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

On Friday evening, Eliot is nervous. Really nervous. He's waiting outside the restaurant where he is hopefully going to meet with Nathan. Eliot knows that he is early. But he had wanted to check everything. With his luck, he would be kidnapped today by a troop of armed men. But perhaps that would be for the best. Then he hasn't had to watch when Nathan realizes that he had made a mistake when he asked Eliot to go out. And that is going to happen, he just knows. And it is going to hurt, even if it's not going to be be a surprise.

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Cursing, Nathan crosses the street. He's too late. Only five minutes, maximum ten, but still too late. Nathan just hopes that Eliot is going to wait for him, for the sake of both of them. As he turns onto the street the first thing that he does is looking to the restaurant to look for Eliot.   
  
When Nathan sees Eliot standing next to the door, Nathan lets out a breath of relief. He doesn't want to lose Eliot before he could win him. That would be too stupid and Nathan is really doubting that Eliot is going to give him another chance. He takes a deep breath and went over to the younger man.

 

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Nathan isn't coming.  
  
Eliot swallows and tries to suppress a tear. It isn't a big surprise. Maybe it had been a joke or something more important had come up. Maybe Nathan is going to tell him.   
  
He wonders why it's hurting so much. It isn't even as if all this had been unforeseen. He just isn't good enough for Nathan. And he is never going to deserve someone like Nathan. Nathan has probably noticed that he had gone to too much trouble to get Eliot. That he can have Eliot any time the older man wants him.   
  
As much as Eliot is ashamed of this fact, it is the bitter truth. If Nathan would ask him to have sex or would tell him to suck Nathan off, Eliot would do it. He wouldn't even think about it. It was probably the only chance Eliot would ever get to thank Nathan for everything. To show Nathan how much he matters to Eliot.   
  
“Hey. I'm sorry that I'm late. I hope you haven't had to wait for long?” a voice next to him asks suddenly.  
  
Surprised, Eliot looks up. Nathan stands next to him and is smiling.

 

“You ca... No, I just got here myself,” he lies and could bite off his tongue. He had almost said what he's thinking. But that doesn't matter anymore. Nathan is here. That is all that matters.

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

The evening – date? - had been nice. At least Eliot thought so. He doesn't know if Nathan had liked the evening as well. Eliot swallows and looks over Nathan The older man is walking him home. Does it mean that Nathan had liked the evening as well? Or maybe it is just because Nathan wants to do... something. Eliot would give Nathan everything the older man wants. Maybe Nathan would even kiss him if he is good enough for the rest of the date? He would like to kiss Nathan.

When they're reaching his door Nathan stops. Eliot is surprised that Nathan knows where Eliot is living. Parker knows, but Parker is a little creepy. She probably knows where every team member lives.

 

“Everything okay?” Nathan asks.

 

Eliot just nods and tries to hide behind his hair. It's an old habit, a habit he got because of Ryan. Ryan had liked it when Eliot was submissive. “Yeah, everything's cool. You…you liked the evening?”

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Nathan tries to suppress a sigh when he sees how Eliot tries to hide himself. But he smiles and tucks the disturbing strand of hair behind Eliot's ear. “Yeah, I liked the evening. Maybe we could do something like that again?” Nathan really hopes that they could do something like that. He likes to be with the young man.

 

“You mean... really? I... I would like that,” Eliot says confused.

 

Nathan acts as if he doesn't see the confusion on the young man's face.

 

“Could.... Would.... Can I kiss you?” Eliot asks, now stuttering, and his face is blushing with a deep red before he looks down.

 

It breaks Nathan to think that someone could break Eliot so badly that the younger man is too afraid to ask for a kiss.

 

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

 

 

Eliot swallows and blinks away the tears when Nathan still gives no answer. He should have known it. Why would someone kiss him? Especially someone like Nathan? Eliot shakes his head and tries a smile. He knows that it looks faked. He can feel it

 

“Well…It's not...I mean...” he tries but is interrupted when Nathan tips his chin up and presses his mouth to Eliot's lips. It only lasted a few seconds but it's still leaving Eliot gasping for breath.

 

“Of course. Why not?” Nathan asks, grinning.

 

Eliot can't stop himself from smiling. “I...Thank you,” Eliot mumbles and looks up. “We're going to see us on Monday?” he asks nervously. It is still a strange concept to work from Monday until Friday. But maybe Nathan is going to fire him after all?

 

“Yeah. See you on Monday.”


End file.
